"Forbidden snowflake"

Current Mood: Fine
Current Music: This Picture - Placebo


Interesting lyrics.

"Forbidden snowflake"

Hmm that's the way I feel about most women I've ever been in love with.
Not that they are cold or anything but when you look at a snowflake it's beautiful and everything. But once you reach out and catch it they just melt away.

"Figures released last week showed there are 1.65 million single men aged between 30 and 39 in the UK, compared with 1.27 million women in the age group."

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/4010563.stm

Oh great, just what I needed. What's the betting I'll be one of the .38 million that remains single.

Current Mood: tired
Current Music: None

Just notes. Nothing interesting

All this will make no sense to me let alone anyone else until it's 'cleaned up'

Some uninteresting and tedious stuff about me :

Age: Lets just say mid 30's
Stuff I'm proud of: Hmm feck all really.
Where I live: With my parents like some fucking 16 year old

There that was fun now wasn't it.

So...lets begin.......

Well it's now 6am here. I've had 3 hours sleep and just woken from a strange dream. I'll try to explain...

I was in a flat in a high rise with someone that I don't remember and a few cats. For some reason outside the windows were platforms that could tilt towards and away from the window and rotate too. These cats would jump onto the platforms and I had to stop them from falling off. I vaguely remember hypnotising the cats at one point and when they were unhypnotised the little buggers jumped onto the platform that started to rotate and I could only just control it. The I woke up. How strange.

*sigh*


For the record 'x' is a girl I know over the net. I have chatted to her on the phone quite a bit and TBH I really like her. She's funny, has an infectious laugh and is IMHO very beautiful. We've spoken about all manner of things including her illness. I won't say what it is except there are complications to it and if it gets worse it will be very nasty.

Anyway I spoke to 'x' today. she said "we're too similar" oh right yeah just fucking great. Why don't you just tell it like it is. You don't want me as anything more than a 'friend'. FFS I'm tired of playing games. Just tell it to me straight. Why do we complicate our lives with these pathetic charades?
I'm too old to play stupid games with my heart. Maybe I'm wrong in assuming too much from just chatting to her. I'm sure I'm not her 'type' anyway but that doesn't stop me falling for people. Maybe I'm just too desperate, too lonely, too sad to see life as it really is and not the way I perceive it.


I know I need to clarify a few things which I shall do in due course. But for now this will have to do.

Current Mood: tired
Current Music: Helen Love - Debbie and Joey